I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
