What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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