you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
