he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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