Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
