yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
