White coat. Heels.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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