And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
