Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
