I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
