They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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