Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My liver just broke up with me...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
