i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
