the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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