Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
