Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
