How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
