I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
