i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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