I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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