Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
