His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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