why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
