I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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