I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
