dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
