"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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