She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
