If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
