Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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