FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
