That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
