Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
