The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
