I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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