did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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