i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
