Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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