...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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