If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
