she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
