She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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