the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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