hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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