I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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