so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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