Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
