I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm having to shit out rocks
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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