I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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