Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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